Back Home, Barely

This will officially be my last post about anything having to do with air travel. In an earlier post I mentioned how, "I always get a total kick out of takeoff. I’m not so fond of landing". So, on the trip back home I had as near a death experience as I will ever need until I have the real death experience.

We were on a Lear and hit a violent crosswind about fifteen feet off of the runway, and the plane tipped up to where the wings were nearly perpendicular to the ground. When the pilot corrected, we rotated all the way to the other side. Then, the nose went up at around a 60 degree angle and we were yawing back and forth. The back wheels hit hard and we bounced back into the air to commence another session of flying like particularly drunk senior citizen. Once again the back wheels hit the ground and the pilot was able to slam the nose down as well. We rolled to a stop a few seconds later. At one point, looking out the window, the fuel tank on the wingtip was running around 12 to 14 inches from the runway. This is something that you really don't want to witness except in the form of a special effect. Thinking about it, the most amazing thing was how totally silent it was in the cabin. There were seven of us on the plane, and the only words spoken were by one guy suggesting that we might want to hold on. This was before we did our first aerial maneuver. When we were actually in the midst of the mock dogfight there wasn't a sound. There were several white faces, though, mine included. We pulled up to the hangar, grabbed our bags, shook the hands of both pilots and headed home. I think the seriousness of the whole thing hit me about five minutes from where I was meeting Vicky for dinner. That was when I noticed myself crushing my steering wheel in the Vulcan death grip and driving about 60 in a 70 MPH zone.

You don't really have all that many moments to appreciate what is actually good in life, and it seems totally corny to talk about, but I think we all went home with a little extra knowledge of how quickly things could change.

Day Two

Woke up at four-thirty with no clue as to where I was, bummed to figure out that Vicky wasn't there. There was a pretty good snow last night and everything is beautiful outside. Except for the fact that I will be driving over a mountain pass on the new, beautiful snow, life isn't bad.

Logan is your typical college town (Utah State) but for one detail. I haven't seen a single bar. Maybe we haven't been to the right (or wrong) part of town, but it seems strange not to have one on every corner.

To be continued...

Overtaken Goes on the Road!

OTBE is headed for the nightlife capitols of America, Idaho Falls and Salt Lake City. If you're a blogger in the area with a desperate need to buy other people's beer, leave a comment. Kidding, this is a work trip. We NEVER imbibe on work trips, honest. Anyway, posting will probably be light, we still don't have broadband link-ups on the company jets (Bastards). Back on Thursday.

I found this blogpoll via Lynn Sislo via Amber Bach. It's kind of interesting and someone will have to capture the nationwide results. Take the temperature of the blogosphere, so to speak. It's easy, just answer ten little questions.

1. Which blogger have you known longest online only?
Easy. Jonah Goldberg on NRO mentioned Andrew Sullivan which led me to Matt Welch and Ken Layne. I was hooked after that.

2. Which blogger have you known longest IRL?

IRL means "in real life." I've know the Very Irreverant Mike for several years through work. We only discovered recently that we were both bloggers. That only happened because our wives, Vicky and Rita, somehow hooked up online.

3. Which blogger have you spent the most time with IRL?
Take a wild guess. Not to disparage Mike's good looks, but, come on.

4. Which blogger would you most like to meet IRL (that you haven’t met IRL)?
I have a dream blog bash attended by Tim Blair, Juan Gato, Welch, Lane, Kaus, Bashman, Moxie, Michele, Acidman, K-Lo and others to numerous to mention, but, if I'm supposed to have one answer, it would be Blair.

5. Which blogger do you think has the best blog design?
I would say that Gut Rumbles is one of the cleanest, but I have to vote for the love of my life. (BTW, I think Sullivan's is one of the most unreadable sites available today)

6. Which blogger do you like most to argue with?
Again, too numerous to mention.

7. Which blogger makes you laugh the most?
For everyday yuks, it's hard to beat Gato and Ott, but Moxie had this post about her cat's gastrointestinal problems that literaly had me laying on the floor in tears as I tried to read it to my wife. Simon has good cat stories too.

8. Which blogger intimidates you the most?
Click on Instaman's Sitemeter sometime. Seriously, some of these brave souls that are blogging from Tehran and Baghdad are incredibly impressive.

9. Which blogger do you most wish would post more often?
Me.

10. Which blogger do you most wish would get a comment system?
Blair and The Corner.

More Brilliance from our Neighbors to the North

This is exactly the kind of statement that an American leftist could get away with (can you say "Hymietown"?). We'll see how many people condemn this "respected Saskatchewan Indian leader". Trent Lott is an idiot and shouldn't be majority leader with or without the current situation, but I'm about to drown in the hypocrisy. In my mind, a joke, however ill-advised and completely idiotic, is a far cry from a national organization paying for a TV ad calling the president a murderer.

damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn...

Comedians everywhere are in mourning at word of the news that Gorebot isn't running in 2004. I think this is a good news/bad news sort of thing for the GOP. On one hand, the world will be spared more tongue wrestling, but on the other, the Dems might actually pick someone who could win. Oh wait, Terry McAuliffe is still in charge. Nevermind.

Breathe Deep, the Sigh of Relief

After many hours and many steps backwards, we finally have Vicky's new site up.

Now begins the work on mine. Movable Type absolutely rocks!

Meanwhile, there isn't a blog over there to your left that isn't worth checking out. Vicky covered castrated reindeer, and Rita has a Christmas post that will make you cry. BTW, although I have been blogroll challenged lately, Mike and Rita have their new MT site up, briefly titled, The Church of the Blinding White Light of Stupidity. I'm glad that Mike is finally plunging in. I've met few people in my life, ummm..., more eclectic. On the upside, if you need a gourmet meal, a complete worldwide network or just a good laugh, he's your guy.

Did I say Light?

What I meant was, non-existent. It was a long day sandwiched between a four hour round trip,during which I was treated to the cultural gems that are the movies Scary Movie and Like Mike. All I wanted was to finish my book.

A return to normal posting will begin tomorrow, but I wanted to spread some gratitude first:

I can't believe I actually got a mention at Cut on the Bias. I have been reading Susanna's blog for quite some time (long enough that my bookmark still sends me to the redirect page) and to Pdawwg, a newly found and very entertaining blog.

I have, in the past three days, for whatever reason, doubled my hits from what they were over the past month. I suppose it is just gratifying that not everyone thinks I am a complete dumbass.

Carnival of the Vanities #12

The latest Carnival of the Vanities is up and scorching Idiotarians everywhere! Laurence went all out with the cool little icons, and most of the posts are pretty good, too (certain drivel about Jimmy Carter notwithstanding...).

Go there NOW!

FYI (for both of you that care), posting will be light today as I will be trapped in a car with five people I don't like all that much.

Noblesse Obliged to Speak Drivel ala Jimmy

"The world has changed greatly since I left the White House.

Yes, to include 100 or so fewer American hostages in Iran, interest rates at roughly 20% of where you left them and, what was that other one.....oh yeah, no more Soviet Union.

Now there is only one superpower, with unprecedented military and economic strength.

< beginqueencd > We are the champions, my friends!< /endqueencd >

Instead of entering a millennium of peace, the world is now, in many ways, a more dangerous place. There is a plethora of civil wars... and recent appalling acts of terrorism have reminded us that no nations, even superpowers, are invulnerable.

I do not think you know what plethora means. I would not like it if you used the word plethora and did not know what it means.

It is clear that global challenges must be met with an emphasis on peace, in harmony with others, with strong alliances and international consensus.

Yep, as clear as your typical human rights declaration authored by Sudan

Imperfect as it may be, there is no doubt that this can best be done through the United Nations.

WOOHOO! He used a three syllable word correctly! If only he'd left out the next sixteen words he would have had the perfect phrase.

Today there are at least eight nuclear powers on earth, and three of them are threatening to their neighbours in areas of great international tension. For powerful countries to adopt a principle of preventive war may well set an example that can have catastrophic consequences.

Of course, I personally don't believe that even a minor wedgie is an appropriate response to being bitch slapped.

For more than half a century following the founding of the state of Israel in 1948, the Middle East conflict has been a source of worldwide tension.

Does this sound eerily like a camoflauged call for the destruction of Israel? Nah.

United Nations Resolution 242 calls for withdrawal of Israel from the occupied territories, and provides for Israelis to live securely and in harmony with their neighbours. There is no other mandate whose implementation could more profoundly improve international relationships.

And no other mandate that would give Hezbollah, et al, easier access to legitimate targets of war like schools, playgrounds and nightclubs.

Perhaps of more immediate concern is the necessity for Iraq to comply fully with the unanimous decision of the Security Council that it eliminate all weapons of mass destruction and permit unimpeded access by inspectors to confirm that this commitment has been honoured. The world insists that this be done.

Screw that! I insist because that young whippersnapper in the White House is going to go and show me as a senile gasbag, yet again, if they don't.

I am not here as a public official, but as a citizen of a troubled world who finds hope in a growing consensus that the generally accepted goals of society are peace, freedom, human rights, environmental quality, the alleviation of suffering, and the rule of law.

Not too much disagreement here, but I'd prefer the rule of law a little closer to the head of the line.

During the past decades, the international community, usually under the auspices of the United Nations, has struggled to negotiate global standards that can help us achieve these essential goals.

One word: Sisyphus

I am convinced that Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews and others can embrace each other in a common effort to alleviate human suffering and to espouse peace.

I am convinced that Trilateral Commission is sending killer rays directly into my brain while I sleep.

At the beginning of this new millennium I was asked to discuss, here in Oslo, the greatest challenge that the world faces.

You'll remember, the title of my speech was, " Bill Clinton's Legacy or Hot Damn, I'm going to look like a GREAT preident next to Impeachment Boy!

I decided that the most serious and universal problem is the growing chasm between the richest and poorest people on earth.

The further apart they are, the more creamy filling you get.

The results of this disparity are root causes of most of the world's unresolved problems, including starvation, illiteracy, environmental degradation, violent conflict and unnecessary illnesses that range from Guinea worm to HIV/Aids.

You forgot butt pimples, toe jam, and unsightly, discolored grout in your bathroom. Thank God, it has been weeks since I've heard the "root cause" argument.

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good.

Are you saying that you believe in the concept of a just war? Or just hedging your bets?

The bond of our common humanity is stronger than the divisiveness of our fears and prejudices.

As evidenced by what, exactly? There is no evil in Jimmy's world, only misguided youths that need time out.

God gives us the capacity for choice. We can choose to alleviate suffering. We can choose to work together for peace. We can make these changes - and we must."

And thus ends another Rev. Jimmy sermonette. My greatest praise for this speech would, of course, be its length. The poor Nobel Committee would still be there tomorrow had Clinton won.

Bring Outcher Ded

Laurence Simon at Amish Tech Support is hosting the First Annual All-Blog Dead Pool. I find this to be a great way to start out a new year, by arbitrarily deciding who won't live to see the next one. Laurence was extremely helpful as I am male and NEVER read the instructions. He informed me that I had Strom Thurmond on my list and would receive -1 point when the old bastard kicks. Fortunately, I had another right-fielder handy, Daryl Strawberry (60 points!!). My favorite rule, however, is the one that forbids you from actually killing the person yourself (with a couple of exceptions).

Here's my entry:

Edward Said - Perhaps one of those rocks he throws at the IDF will come zinging back.
Jack Germond - Come on, how unhealthy does this guy look?
Andy Rooney - Anything to stop the sound of that voice in my head.
Kirk Douglas - OK, I feel kind of bad about this pick.
Jay-Z - My token rapper.
Henry Kissinger - Hopefully early in the new investigation. Geez, give someone else a chance, Hank!
Judi Dench - My wife will kill me for this pick, but she was such a convincing dying person in the movie Iris
Elizabeth Taylor - Not the young one, like in Taming of the Shrew, but the new one scares me.
Daryl Strawberry - my token troubled, former athlete.

So, what are you waiting for? Go and join the fun. Pick nine people and spend the enitre year wishing them ill. Give yourself a legitimate reason to peruse the tabloids, and please, please pick Britney Spears!

A Better Informed Public?

An article in the Washington Post this morning (via Drudge) talks about an apparent sales slump for "big name" authors. Industry people are blaming everything from Wal-Mart and Costco to the proliferation of movies and cable TV, but, at least in my case, there are a few more specific reasons. Sure, if there is a new realease that I absolutely must have, I will probably go to Sam's and get it for $15 instead of paying $30 at a chain store, but frankly, in the past couple of years there have been fewer and fewer must haves, and I will often wait until I can find the book at my local used bookstore (miles of wonderful, dusty shelves). The other reason is that I read so many seemingly well-read people everyday in the blogoshpere that I am rarely without several recommendations, and those recommendations are never King and Clancy. They are history and biography and other books that matter and the plugs for these books are from people I trust, at least in the sense that I'm fairly sure they aren't morons. Over a year ago I read a discussion on Ken Layne's blog about the book Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson, and a few days ago I am standing looking at the crap paperback section at the local Wal-Mart and there it is, one copy, that had obviously been there for a while. I thought, "What the hell!", and bought it. It's like having this massive, disorganized peer-review system, and so far it has not steered me wrong. I'm sorry that Stephen will only be able to purchase one Bentley this year, but I'm reading much better, thank you.

Help Has Arrived!!

Juan Gato notices that we can spool down from the war preparations. Anjelica Huston and Mike Farrell are sending a letter to President Bush tomorrow.And, get this, 100 OTHER CELEBRITIES SIGNED IT!! That's right, they physically took the cap off of a pen and wrote out their whole names (except, of course, Billy Bob Thorton and Sean Penn who signed in their own blood) (Well, not their own blood, but one of their assistants).

This part really opened my eyes:

The letter reportedly is signed by stars including Kim Basinger, Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, Samuel L. Jackson, Jessica Lange and Martin Sheen, publicists for the event said Monday.

Event? What event? They are mailing a freaking letter! You need a publicist to do this now? My wife is going to be pissed, just more bullshit every time she needs to send the Visa payment.

I swear by all that is holy that I will crawl through broken glass to Fisk this weighty tome.

Wow, you don't look at your blog for a day or two and you never know who mentions you. Thanks Andrea!

I've also had my first contact from the Military Industrial Complex. Check out Horologium, he Fisks little Rusty as well.

Throughout his eight years in office, President Ronald Reagan, in his efforts to restore luster to a downtrodden citadel America, did more to turn foreigners against this country than most people realize.

Not to get into minor details like facts, but isn't there a McDonald's near Red Square now?

President George W. Bush is now, perhaps equally unwittingly, on the verge of taking this to a new level.

No Kidding? Maybe that is why there are thousands of Iranian students risking arrest and much worse to be, ummm..more like us

On the whole, Americans do not understand (and all too often do not seem to care) how our actions are interpreted outside our borders. This is true in particular of those presidential actions that are meant to make us feel proud and strong. By exhibiting so little interest in other countries and cultures, we all but ensure we will continue to shock, frighten and anger people around the world.

Wow, he at least got it half right, we really don't care about frightening, angering and/or shocking people around the world who hate us and wish us cast into the depths of hell. BTW Rusty, if it takes a "presidential action" to make us feel strong and proud, then the terrorists have won. We're strong and proud because of the reactions of normal, everyday Joe and Jane Six-Packs that risk their lives, to varying degrees, each day.

Sadly, most of these instances could and should have been easily foreseen and avoided, if only we had cared enough to think about it and showed even moderate respect for how others view the world and choose to live their lives

Moderate respect? We so disrespect the people that hate us that we pour billions into their countries in a futile attempt to raise their standard of living.

The 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, which were portrayed in the U.S. media as a chance to show the world what a great country we are, produced a far different effect.
The flag waving and "U.S.A." chants alarmed many Europeans, with older Germans saying, "This is how it began in the 1930s," a reference to the mass rallies held by the Nazis after they attained power. The potential dangers inherent in such fervent displays of nationalism were not to be overlooked by those "lucky" enough to have lived through Hitler's reign.

Oooh scary! I had forgotten the potential danger in cheering on a fifteen year old girl trying for a medal in gymnastics. I'm no expert, but I don't remember Mary Lou Retton proclaiming herself as a member of the master race of short stumpy people.

After the 9/11 attacks, the United States enjoyed an enormous wellspring of sympathy from people around the world. Bush has squandered this support by projecting an unfortunately all-too -typically arrogant attitude toward the world.

WTF was our attitude supposed to be? How can it be more than a year since the attack and there still be self -loathing fuckwits that don't realize that THEY ATTACKED US? I know that in our time of sorrow we should have looked to Kofi for inspiration, but he was too busy adding Sudan and Libya to the Human Rights Comission.

Should we end up attacking Iraq unilaterally (aside from the bombs we have been dropping on them weekly for years) or with token support from reliable allies such as Great Britain (where several hundred thousand people recently turned out to tell their prime minister not to support any U.S. military action that does not have the support of the United Nations), the answer down the road to the question of "why do they hate us?" will be easily traceable to this episode.

For Christ's sake, did Robert Fisk write this paragraph last year and post it for every brain-dead, Bush hating asshole to include in their oh-so-earnest missives? Russ, we honestly don't give a rat's ass why they hate us. They can hate us until the end of time. When that hate, however, turns into action against us, all anyone really needs to understand is that they will have the Price Club sized can of whoop ass opened upon their poor, misguided, misunderstood, fatwa loving souls.

We can only hope that sanity will prevail, even if it is barely visible now

I'm not sure that this last sentence comes across exactly as he meant it.

I will celebrate by driving my Japanese car, listening to music on my Japanese stereo equipment, maybe take in a movie on my Japanese DVD player and enjoy a dinner of sushi and saki. IMHO, the fact that I can do all of these things is a testament to the generosity of America. I've been trying to think of another situation where the clear winner of a war gave so much to rebuild the aggressor, but have come up empty. If the pattern holds, our descendents will be struggling to make the decision between the Iraqi Jihad Convertible Coupe or the North Korean Dear Leader SUV.

On a serious note, the sacrifice made by our elders is almost unimaginable. When the 1st Marines were relieved on Guadalcanal it was estimated that more than 80% had malaria and almost all were malnourished and suffering from various other ailments. Today we call in sick if our hair doesn't look good. I can only imagine the fortitude it took to step onto a barren rock in the middle of an ocean knowing it was likely the last place you would see. There are some truly touching stories here and here.

Wife begins blogging (over dead body). Wife hooks up with another blogger who happens to be in the same city, who also happens to be married to someone that Husband knows from long before either husband met respective wife and also happens to work for the same company. Other Husband has mechanical breakdown. Husband reads about it on Other Blogger's site and leaves comment, offering transportation. Ice storm ensues but both husbands come home in one piece. Life is beautiful.

Vicky and I have had about 15 rolls of film developed in the last couple of days that span about 18 months, all the way back to pre-marriage days. Of course, because we were justifiably concerned about quality, we chose not to take them to Wal-Mart and instead went to the most expensive place in town. They do great work, but at $10 a roll, they should. A few of my favorites (I'm not allowed to scan the honeymoon shots).

My Lovely WifeTM and I at our 1st annniversary brunch (also the exact spot where she said yes). We look rather goth for some reason. I am obviously the luckiest man on earth.	The view from one corner of our front deck, complete with the prerequisite cat (Emily).	Angus, our extremely mellow Jack Russell (roflmao), at his first dog show. He took second in the celebrity look-alike category (Eddie, of course) to a 220lb Mastiff that looked just like Walter Mathau

BAGHDAD -- Serious doubts surfaced over the surprise nature of new arms inspections in Iraq when a United Nations spokesman admitted the head of a suspected weapons site had been given advance warning of the visit by the UN experts to his facility on Saturday.

To paraphrase an old lefty question, "Who's inspecting the inspectors?"

Leave it to two sphincter-squeezing ninnies to bring a guy down when he's just trying to bring some color to the workaday world of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. Justice J. Michael Eakin had the following to say in an opinion from last Wednesday about a lawsuit over a prenuptial agreement:

"A groom must expect matrimonial pandemonium
when his spouse finds he's given her a cubic zirconium
instead of a diamond in her engagement band,
the one he said was worth twenty-one grand."

However, Chief Justice Stephen A. Zappala seems to believe that rhyme is an indication of not being nearly serious enough.

"The filing of an opinion that expresses itself in rhyme reflects poorly on the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania," Zappala wrote. "No matter addressed by this court is frivolous."

I'm no poet, although I do come down firmly on the side of fun in the workplace, but it would seem this should outrage the many EYP's who toil to have their innermost blatherings published in the oh-so-serious journals of verse that every university puts out.

Not enough wine to get through Election Night! Matt makes emergency trip to Bypass Liquor (hopefully soon so I can stop typing his crap, he only uses three fingers, LAMEASS!!)! Rita will understand.

Earliest reporting from the heavily Democratic 4th District shows, at 1% reporting overall, Pryor (D) at 75% and Fisher (D) at 73%. Understand, this is equivalent to reporting Crawford, Texas only in the W. Bush presidential race.


UPDATE!!!

Vicky goes to get the wine!! She Rocks! My three fingers are sewing like the wind. The guys at Bypass Liquor dig her more anyway.

"Thank you, Mr. Heston for this unnecessary carnage. Thank you, Mr. Bush, for supporting Mr. Heston and his group's agenda -- which protects only the criminals. And thank you, Bushmaster Firearms, Inc., for providing the gun used to shoot the 13 people in the DC area."

Yes. And thank you, Mr. Henry Ford for the unnecessary carnage and fatalities numbering in the millions. Thank you, stockholders of America, for supporting automobile manufacturers and their agenda - which results in tens of thousands of violent deaths every year in this country alone.
And thank you, Boeing, for providing the four aircraft used to murder 3,000 people last year. After all, we wouldn't want to hold the 19 hijackers solely responsible for that mass murder. Let's blame the guys who built the airplanes! They surely could not have knocked down two giant buildings without them. Thanks, Boeing!

	Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff! Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

A Razorback Team Captain is now off the team, arrested on drug charges. 22-year-old Jermaine Brooks was a Starter Defensive Tackle for the Razorbacks. Take a look at why he's in trouble: undercover police officers say they found in Brooks apartment more than seven pounds of marijuana, more than $16,000 in cash, several rifles and handguns, and various drug paraphernalia.

It's never a good time for something like this to happen, but this is an especially bad time for several reasons, besides the fact that this sidelines the career of this football player. Homecoming is just three days away, and ESPN is filming a behind-the-scenes look at the Razorbacks.

Brooks responded to the charges in a phone interview on Wednesday morning. Brooks said, "tell everyone I made a mistake, a big mistake. I would like to tell all Razorback fans, Razorback teammates, family, friends, and especially the coaching staff, that I am truly sorry. I made this mistake, and therefore I apologize to everyone for the decision that I made."

This situation is also troubling, because it also involves a Razorback ambassador, of sorts. 21-year-old Auburn Celeste Williams is Brooks' girlfriend, she is a Razorback Belle, and she also faces drug charges.

IDIOT SPORTS REPORTER: So Billybobarkansasplayer, your team finished the season with eight straight wins, including a crushing defeat of Miami in the Orange Bowl. how did the Jermaine Brooks incident draw the team together?

IDIOT SPORTS REPORTER (who's name rhymes with bark): So Billybobarkansasplayer, you losers failed to score a single point the rest of the season after the Jermaine Brooks incident, could this team just not come together after such a trial?